Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
