I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize