it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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