So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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