I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
