What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
