Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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