feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize