so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
