Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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