shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize