we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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