How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
