just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
