there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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