Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
