I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
