what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
