just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
