OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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