ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
