Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize