Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
