Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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