i just wanna soil my oats bro
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
