dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
