thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
