Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
