Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
