You work out of a Hotel?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
