Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
