Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
