Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
