is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
True college students do jello shots in the library
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