Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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