Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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