Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize