Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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