Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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