Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
