why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I could fuck to npr.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
