suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And then my night got REAL pukey
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
