Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
