Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
