Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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