playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
