So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
