I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
