So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
