I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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