I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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