i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
