Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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