You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
