Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize