do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think i peed on brittanys purse
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
