Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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