I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
