Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
