I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
