sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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