I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
