I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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