question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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