He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
