went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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