I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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