I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
