wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
