is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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