I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
