'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
