Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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