I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
