i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
